Rocket League is challenging for the crown of ultimate PS4 multiplayer experience. On this evidence, it’s really not far off at all.

What? Oh. Hi. How’s it going? Sorry. I’m a little distracted. You see, I’ve discovered a new drug. A toxin I ingest on a nightly basis that has grabbed a hold of me so tightly, so completely I’ve become rather unaware of everything else around me. It lasts five minutes, is high-octane, bewilderingly visceral and truly, the most inescapable form of addiction I’ve ever had the pleasure of subjecting myself to. Beyond any reasonable doubt.

What is this powerful force taking over me? Simple. It’s ROCKET LEAGUE.

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Now. Right. So. Rocket League. YES. I’m here. I’m going to write this as if I’m talking to my imaginary friend. Let’s call him…um, Tim.

Tim: Hi

Ross: Hey buddy!

What do you want. You keep telling me about these new games and I’ve lost my house, my car, my wife, my dog and my microwave to buy all of them. I’ve gone into serious debt and I can’t find my socks.

Damn. Awkward. 

AWKWARD? I’LL GIVE YOU AWKWARD. 

Now, now. I’m just going to tell you about one more game. Cool?

FINE. Just make it a good one. My parents hate you. Like, you don’t even know. 

OK. Look. I code a beta code this week for Psyonix’s new game.

Psyonix? Is that a band? 

No. It’s not a band. It’s a game development team. They’ve made a sequel to a great game on the PS3.

Oh just what we need. Another sequel. Lest we forget all those great new IP’s. 

Sure. But. Hey. Focus.

Right. What was the original game?

Supersonic Acrobatic Rocket-Powered Battle-Cars.

That’s not a game. Nobody would call a game that. 

Well. These guys did. And it was bloody awesome.

Then how come I scoffed?

You scoffed?

You didn’t see it. But I totally scoffed. SCOFF. Just did it again. 

Ugh. You don’t remember it? Would you like to see a trailer?

YES. I LOVE TRAILERS. TRAILERS GET ME SO HAR..

THIS IS NOT THE PLACE, TIM.

ok. Just show me the trailer. 

Well. I don’t have a trailer, but I’ll show you a match from that game?

You are so disappointing. 

Shut it. Check out a gameplay video from YouTube account FLufee4theWIN

RIGHT?

That DOES look fun! And now there’s a sequel? 

Yup.

What’s it called? Supersonic Acrobatic Rocket Powered Battle Cars 2 : Advanced Rocketware Ops?

No.

Oh. Was I close? 

No.

Ah. So…what is it? 

Rocket League.

…Rocket League? 

Rocket League.

That’s it? 

That’s it.

But…that title is nowhere near as awesome as Supersonic Acrobatic Rocket Powered Battle Cars. 

Well, no. Perhaps not. But it’s a new game. And Rocket League sums it up quite well I think.

HOW DO YOU KNOW. YOU’RE NOT MY REAL DAD. 

Tim. I’m not your Dad.

oH YeaH. So, Rocket League, huh? 

Oh yes. And I’ve been playing it this week.

HA! Have you even been outside? Do you remember what a girl is? 

Yes, actually. I’ve been playing Rocket League with my girlfriend.

Bu..wha…..THAT’S THE DREAM!

You know it! I’ve just highfived my 12 year old self.

I bet that looked weird. 

I’m in the office. Nobody can see me.

Got it. Weirdo. 

Look you wanna hear about the game or not?

Well, yes. I do actually. 

I’ll show you an actual trailer if you like?

Oh, you just GET me. I’m still mad I live nowhere with nothing but a router and a broken DualShock 3 and it’s completely your fault, but it’s hard to stay mad at you. 

Oh, you.

THAT. LOOKS. A-MA-ZING. 

You’re damn right it does. Looks stunning on PS4 too.

Is it coming to any other consoles? 

Not right now, but you never know.

Xbox One? 

I just said..not right n..

So not Xbox One? 

Not yet. But they have #IDARB. This is a fine alternative in the mean time.

True. #IDARB is great. 

Oh….ANYWAY.

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YES. So. Rocket League. Spill. 

Well. If you can imagine FIFA and Destruction Derby smashed together in an arena sized fight to the death, you have the gist of Rocket League. It’s 3v3 warfare and the aim is to drive the giant ball into the goal to score points for you team. You can drive up the walls, boost, jump, destroy other cars, anything so long as you get that damn ball in the net. It’s high octane and visceral, like I said above. It’s constantly entertaining and perhaps one of my favourite multiplayer games I’ve played for a long time.

even better than CoD? 

Yes. Dick. Well, it’s so subjective. I’m not a big fan of multiplayer shooters online, specifically CoD. I don’t play them an awful lot, if it all, so it was nice to be able to jump on something that was genuinely fun and have a great time with it. There’s no patronising, no anger, just fun.

Sounds pretty fun. I bet you suck at it though. 

At first, yes. I was pretty bad at it. Terrible in-fact, it got so bad that I almost considered giving up. Then I discovered the fun, the pure enjoyment I could get out of finally playing something online that I felt was worthy, a game that knows it’s a game and doesn’t take itself too seriously, if at all. It knows how bonkers it is and plays to that strength immeasurably.

Alright, I don’t need long words Mr. Writer. Hey! That was a Stereophonics song. 

It was! They were awesome.

Hey man they’re still around. 

Yeah but it’s not the same. It’s not the same.

I assume because you’re such a pompous egotist you filmed a couple of games and then put them on YouTube expecting endless plaudits and the world to bow down to your feet and tell you in no small measure how truly amazing you are at Rocket League in the comments section, get a million views and no dislikes and imagine yourself a King amongst men? 

Hey man, I’m not Greg Miller.

No. You’re not. And you never will be. 

Shut up. But um. Yes. There is a playthrough.

HA! OF COURSE THERE IS. 

Quiet, you. Wanna see it? It’s some early games.

Oh, so it’s the games of when you were so terrible at it? 

Well, yeah. But the fun of the game comes over in the video.

Oh man, fine. Hang on. Let me just turn off Kinda Funny Games. 

I swear I will end you.

DO IT. I’M A FIGMENT OF YOUR WRITING IMAGINATION. YOU CAN’T GET ME. 

Dammit. Okay. Here’s the video, creep.

Wow. You really suck at this. 

I DID THEN. NOT NOW. NOW I’M AWESOME.

Yeah alright. Pfft. Cretin. 

So. Thoughts?

On what? You? You’re a joke at this. 

No. Rocket League. Any questions?

About Rocket League? 

Yes.

About the game where you play as a car and have to put a giant ball into a goal?

Yes.

Um…ok. Is it available now? 

The beta is. But uh, it ends tomorrow.

OH RIGHT. DON’T YOU THINK YOU SHOULD HAVE WRITTEN THIS THE DAY BEFORE IT BLOODY ENDED? 

Well. Probably.

You’re amateur. After this we’re done professionally. 

Who the hell are you? Christian Bale?

WHERE’S RACHEL?? WHERE IS SHEEE???

Damn his Batman voice was bad.

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So this was a beta? What was in the beta? 

Well it was a beta to stress-test the servers for the game. There will no doubt be plenty of people playing this at any given time so they’re just ensuring the server can handle the bandwidth of people playing without any interruptions.

To their credit, not once did I have any lag or trouble finding a game. It was beautifully streamlined the entire time. The game ran beautifully every game I’ve played. And I’ve been playing an awful lot. I was seriously impressed.

Was it all multiplayer then? 

This time around, yes. I played 3v3, 2v2 and even 1v1. That was insane. Great fun though. When the final game drops local multiplayer is gonna be a blast.

HOORAY FOR LOCAL MULTIPLAYER!

Indeed. Very happy a game like this is embracing it.

Absolutely tutely wutely!

Don’t do that. Seriously, now.

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So what can we expect in the full game? 

Well, the beta only offered one arena and a single car type but the full game will offer the following :

Single-player Season mode
Car customization
Online and Local Splitscreen Multiplayer
Unlockable Vehicles, Arenas, and Customization Items
Dedicated gameplay servers
Broadcast-quality replay editor
Regular updates and content/ feature drops

and much more besides. We’re very much looking forward to this.

Oooh a replay editor. Looks like it’s gunning for the YouTube market. 

So it should, this game will be all over the Tube upon release. And rightly so. The game is so visually stunning it’s only right it’s shown off in its best quality all over the web.

Do you like, work for Psyonix? 

No. Idiot. I’m just very much looking forward to this full release. I think it’s going to be an important one. There’s simply nothing else like this out there at the moment for PS4 and it’s a damn shame. The best multiplayer experiences are coming from the relatively smaller companies, such as Psyonix and Dissident Logic.

Dissident Logic? 

They made Paperbound. And it’s fantastic.

Ah yes. I enjoyed that. It seems PS4 is the place to be for great multiplayer experiences at the moment. 

You’re damn right. Look at it this way – Rocket League could end up being the most important multiplayer release so far for the console. In a multiplayer world dominated by shooters, this could be the tonic which brings gamers back into the realm of pure fun. You’re not killing anyone, you don’t have microtransactions to build a better team, you have three of your mates against three other players and you just smash a ball about an arena with bloody cars to score more goals. It’s so brilliantly simple and so far, is fantastic in its execution. If promoted correctly and loved enough, this should propel the game to the heights of the multiplayer world.

I wouldn’t say this about any other game. I initially thought it would be Paperbound this year, but it’s launched as a local multiplayer only. That’s not a problem, it’s quite refreshing actually, but in terms of online multiplayer, Rocket League has to be up there upon release.

You should of said ‘Rocket to the top of the League’. 

SHIT.

I won’t hold it against you. 

Thanks.

For now. Anything else? Release date? 

Well nothing concrete yet, hopefully we’ll find out soon after the beta. I know it’s been delayed from Spring until Summer, but that’s not a big deal. I’m happy to wait if it means a better game.

Pfft. Entitled gamer. 

I don’t think you know what that means.

I don’t think I do either. I hear it a lot though. 

You hear it from gamers who get a bunch of free games from Playstation every month and complain that they’re not the free games that they want.

Ugh. Entitled gamers. 

There you go.

YAY! I’VE LEARNED SOMETHING TODAY!

Wait..you’ve only just lear….

Thanks buddy. 

sigh. No problem. It’s what I’m here for.

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I’m guessing now is the time where you do the whole ‘Keep it locked to PSGamer for more on Rocket League blah blah blah’. 

Well, I was gonna wait until you left. It’ll be at the bottom when people stop reading this.

They stopped reading a long time ago, bro. 

Damn. You’re probably right. Wait. You don’t know that. Rocket League is generating plenty of interest thank you very much.

Dude. I didn’t even know about it until you just started telling me about it. 

That’s because you’re just a character in my article to make it seem like I’m talking to a direct person.

Is that all I am to you? 

Yes.

Wow. 

….

So. What now then. 

Well, if you are lucky enough to get yourself into the Rocket League beta on the last day then go for it.

There’s only one day left. Not gonna happen. 

I know, but I was trying to be nice. I guess most will have to wait until the full release this summer.

I guess so. I’m looking forward to it though. You’ve sold it to me. 

Excellent. I’m glad.

I’ll just sell another kidney, huh? 

Oh don’t do that to me.

The last time we spoke you convinced me to get the damn Batman PS4. I SOLD MY HAMSTERS PAUL AND SEAN. 

You had hamsters named Paul and Sean?

Yeah. That’s what they are, right? 

Oh! Oh! Wit. I like it.

I just hit a snare and a hi-hat in appreciation of my own joke. 

I like you.

Buy me a house then. 

Not that much.

I’m leaving. 

Ok. Thanks for the chat.

OH! One more thing. You wanna see an awesome goal I scored?

YOU scored an awesome goal? PAH!

I did!

OK FINE.

Hey, not bad. There may be hope for you yet. Wrap up.

Right. Rocket League beta is an absolute blast, I simply can’t wait to play it once it hits in the summer. It’s crazy and bonkers in the best possible way and we’re chomping at the bit for more.

For everything Rocket League, be sure to keep it locked to PSGamer.

ROCKET LEAGUE WILL BE AVAILABLE IN SUMMER 2015.

Note – I credit Chris Scullion with this great way to write an info article. Thank you, Sir.